Why Do We Settle in Our Relationships?
By Bill Scalzitti - The Coach for Romance
Many of us crave a relationship. We yearn for a romantic relationship, to such an extreme degree that we make unwise choices inevitably leading to sadness, dissatisfaction, and broken hearts.
Many of us do this over and over again, unconsciously repeated patterns that simply do not work. Unfortunately, the majority of the adult singles population fit into this way of thinking, desiring a loving, nurturing, and safe relationship, but not finding it. WHY? BECAUSE WE SETTLE.
Why do we settle? We settle out of desperation, frustration, because our biological clock is ticking and so on. We also settle because we don’t know what will make us happy, who will make us happy and how to make some logical sense out of the ever-changing and confusing singles scene.
What is settling? Settling is accepting less than what we deserve, less than we truly feel we are worth, or simply not knowing what or who will make us happy in a romantic relationship. When we settle for less than we truly desire, we are committing the greatest crime of passion, and we can think of-condemning ourselves to a life of unhappiness and self-deprecation. Shortchanging ourselves out of the fear of being single and not having someone to love is a one-way ride to disaster and heartbreak.
When we look deeper into the reasons why we settle, we find that we were raised to believe that we will fall in love, marry, have a family, and live happily ever after. When we look around, we find that the majority of marriages fail, and a good number of those that stay together are unhappy. Because when we are usually trying to find our way through the relationship maze, we are trying to decipher what type of person best fits our needs and will give us that magical romantic relationship. One possible reason that this does not work is that the criteria we use to select our mates are flawed. Information in our heads was put there, with good intent by our parents, teachers, religious leaders, the media and so on. We need to re-examine these beliefs to honestly know who we are so we can find the romantic relationship we have always desired.
How do I stop settling? In order to stop settling you need a new way of thinking about romantic relationships, you need to stop having relationship by chance and find relationships by choice. You need to transform the way you think about relationships. You need to develop a profile of who you are and what you are looking for in a romantic relationship. You also need to know what you will not accept in a mate. When you find these red flags, do not try to change them, just leave.
Take control of your romantic relationships now by getting in touch with Romance by Choice at RomancebyChoice.com, Romancebychoice@optonline.net or calling 201-981-3629
Copyright © 2019 All Rights Reserved Worldwide, by William J Scalzitti, LLC